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  #41  
Old 05-11-2018, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by jipped genes View Post
vandoo, stick that thing up your ass!
I just want to make sure this statement is not missed...
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  #42  
Old 05-11-2018, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by jipped genes View Post
hell, $200 if my wife bought that thing for me and we could not return it. I would have her use it on me for principal. Just like when I buy jeans without trying them on and they look goofy on me, I wear them anyway because dammit i paid for em.

I never thought I would say this but vandoo, stick that thing up your ass!
well, im thinking of using it as a mixer
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  #43  
Old 05-11-2018, 09:23 PM
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Nice story. Thanks for sharing.
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  #44  
Old 05-12-2018, 04:57 PM
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This thread reminds me of the time I cleared the high school bathroom with the smell from my dick when I took it out of my pants.
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  #45  
Old 05-12-2018, 10:17 PM
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$200 for something you stick in your ass ? Hey I’m not judging, but is the $200 one really that much better than the one for $12.99 ?

For that matter....doesn’t your grocery store sell bananas or cucumbers ? Doesn’t your wife have fingers....or a fist if you so desire ?
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  #46  
Old 05-13-2018, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by alpineslide View Post
...or a fist if you so desire ?
WHAT!????

ed, I stand by my statement. Just do not tell us about it.............
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  #47  
Old 05-14-2018, 10:03 AM
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This thread reminds me of the time I cleared the high school bathroom with the smell from my dick when I took it out of my pants.
yet another statement I am not going to let slide by unnoticed...please explain Mr Darkness.
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  #48  
Old 05-14-2018, 11:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alpineslide View Post
$200 for something you stick in your ass ? Hey Iím not judging, but is the $200 one really that much better than the one for $12.99 ?

For that matter....doesnít your grocery store sell bananas or cucumbers ? Doesnít your wife have fingers....or a fist if you so desire ?
well; for that matter you should see the size of my wife, you would understand the term "chicken wings"

as for a banana and cumcumber I heard too much horror stories from my grand mother who used to sell veggies and fruits to nuns
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  #49  
Old 05-14-2018, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by edvedr View Post
yet another statement I am not going to let slide by unnoticed...please explain Mr Darkness.
Well... it’s a long story. But since I’m sitting in an airport....

This really nasty bartender used to give me free drinks at this dirt floor bar on a gravel road when I was in high school. I loved this bar. The bartender was someone you would look at and see the remanents of a somewhat attractive woman 25 years ago. She gave the free drinks in hopes of me giving her some cock. I played along and received the drinks hoping to never pay up with cock. I’m an alcoholic.

Anyhow one night (it was a school night before a final exam I had to pass to graduate) I was sitting at the bar drinking. Juke box blasting. Bar of people. Next thing I know I lifted my head from where I’d passed out at the bar, lights were on, juke box off, just Becky cleaning up. She saw me awake and smiled and threw down the broom. She pounced like an angry cat. She announced it was time pay up. I squirmed loose and stumbled for the door but there was no stopping her.... the rapacious creditor had called the note....

She never broke eye contact as I was slammed into the pool table and pants torn off in one motion. This bitch was ready to kill....

She held me down and devoured my dick and as soon as it was hard she leaped from the floor up onto the pool table and threw the cock in her giant pussy, all in one motion as if a Bruce Lee imitation scaling a wall.

I was rode into hell. I couldnt get loose. I tried until I gave up and lay motionless. No one heard my incessant cries for help....as she finished both me and her. Her snatch was so big we could have held a square dance in it and never touched it. I was also too drunk to realize that this dirty bitch was dripping what appeared to be a grad ty year untreated yeast infection all over me.

I don’t remember the short ride home. All I remember is the next morning I awoke 10 minutes before test time. ....!!!!!!!! I sprung out of bed and raced to school. Driving drunk. I had to pass this test to graduate. I did not piss at home or at school.

After first period bell I went straight to the bathroom and took at my dick at a urinal. Boys started choking and screaming. The smell of Becky’s skank pussy on my crotch filled the room. People left in the middle of their business. Boys screamed and gagged.

I continued to let out piss trying to hold back the puke. That’s when Mr. C my geometry teacher walked in. He blew a gasket. There was no question what that smell was. Somehow you could still tell it was pussy even though it was mostly rotting decaying tissue. He started screaming g at me and went into the hallway. When I came out he met me and screamed at me to get my life together. And he he made me go home and wash my cock. And then he made me come back. And I had to complete all these tasks without being late to his class or drunk when I got there. Guy has a lot of nerve. Lol.

So somehow the smell got in my dads cutlass and he got pretty pissed to when he got in it the next day.

Poor darkness....

Anyhow that’s my answer to your question.
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  #50  
Old 05-14-2018, 12:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkness View Post
Well... itís a long story. But since Iím sitting in an airport....

This really nasty bartender used to give me free drinks at this dirt floor bar on a gravel road when I was in high school. I loved this bar. The bartender was someone you would look at and see the remanents of a somewhat attractive woman 25 years ago. She gave the free drinks in hopes of me giving her some cock. I played along and received the drinks hoping to never pay up with cock. Iím an alcoholic.

Anyhow one night (it was a school night before a final exam I had to pass to graduate) I was sitting at the bar drinking. Juke box blasting. Bar of people. Next thing I know I lifted my head from where Iíd passed out at the bar, lights were on, juke box off, just Becky cleaning up. She saw me awake and smiled and threw down the broom. She pounced like an angry cat. She announced it was time pay up. I squirmed loose and stumbled for the door but there was no stopping her.... the rapacious creditor had called the note....

She never broke eye contact as I was slammed into the pool table and pants torn off in one motion. This bitch was ready to kill....

She held me down and devoured my dick and as soon as it was hard she leaped from the floor up onto the pool table and threw the cock in her giant pussy, all in one motion as if a Bruce Lee imitation scaling a wall.

I was rode into hell. I couldnt get loose. I tried until I gave up and lay motionless. No one heard my incessant cries for help....as she finished both me and her. Her snatch was so big we could have held a square dance in it and never touched it. I was also too drunk to realize that this dirty bitch was dripping what appeared to be a grad ty year untreated yeast infection all over me.

I donít remember the short ride home. All I remember is the next morning I awoke 10 minutes before test time. ....!!!!!!!! I sprung out of bed and raced to school. Driving drunk. I had to pass this test to graduate. I did not piss at home or at school.

After first period bell I went straight to the bathroom and took at my dick at a urinal. Boys started choking and screaming. The smell of Beckyís skank pussy on my crotch filled the room. People left in the middle of their business. Boys screamed and gagged.

I continued to let out piss trying to hold back the puke. Thatís when Mr. C my geometry teacher walked in. He blew a gasket. There was no question what that smell was. Somehow you could still tell it was pussy even though it was mostly rotting decaying tissue. He started screaming g at me and went into the hallway. When I came out he met me and screamed at me to get my life together. And he he made me go home and wash my cock. And then he made me come back. And I had to complete all these tasks without being late to his class or drunk when I got there. Guy has a lot of nerve. Lol.

So somehow the smell got in my dads cutlass and he got pretty pissed to when he got in it the next day.

Poor darkness....

Anyhow thatís my answer to your question.


So how many times did you f*ck her after that?
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