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  #1  
Old 04-13-2005, 11:25 PM
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Some Humorous One Liners

# Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars, I thought "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
# If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
# (on a t-shirt) BOMB SQUAD. If I'm running, try to keep up.
# A day without sunshine is like.. well, night.
# On the other hand, you have different fingers.
# That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
# In case of emergency, speak in clichés.
# This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.
# If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
# There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.
# I can resist everything except temptation.
# When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.
# Make the most of yourself, because that's all the self you are going to get, mister.
# When in doubt, mumble.
# Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time.. I think I’ve forgotten this before…
# I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.
# [seen above a urinal] Your child’s future is in your hands.
# Strangers have the best candy.
# Sex is hereditary.
# If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
# Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
# Give some people an inch, and they think they are rulers.
# Poets have been curiously silent on the subject of cheese.
# I always win. Except win I lose, but then I just don't count it.
# Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
# Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
# In an exam, relax and remember... There is no test.
# !klat kcab ruoy dna uoy nmaD
# You know you're stressed out when you can hear Mimes.
# Who am I? I'm indecision. I'm everything. I'm nothing. And I may even be both.
# You know you should go to sleep when the sheep your counting start to hit the fence.
# All work and no play is the average school day.
# Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
# I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
# True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.
# Bad spellers of the world, untie!
# Constipated people don't give a crap.
# Great fear come from martial art of Ignoriticness...For I am...Lao Zi!
# How many vegetables had to die to make your salad!?
# Fear all mighty powers of Flab Foo...For my name is...Quait Fautt!
# Give me liberty, or give me a bran muffin!
# Granola. Granola solves everything.
# You HAD to get the hot dog.
# I solemnly swear that I shall lead the paper to victory over its enemy, the scissors.
# (On a shirt for women.) If you're reading this, thank puberty.
# If the shoe fits, beat someone senseless with it.
# White guy. Can't dunk.
# (On a T-shirt) Who are you and why are you reading my shirt?
# It's all fun and games until someone loses a tooth...then it's hockey!!
# Instant human! Just add coffee.
# Anger the French. Make tacos.
# Celebrate life with ketchup!
# Worry is the first time you can't do it a second time; panic is the second time you can't do it the first time.
# I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
# How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
# Ok. I'm gonna need a hammer, a chisel... maybe a couple of rocket launchers. But this pickle jar WILL come open!
# Honk if you love peace and quiet.
# Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
# Realize that no matter what you do, the grocery store check-out line you're in will always take the longest.
# Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
# Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
# Procrastinate Later.
# I'm bored... Anyone got a rail gun?
# Test link. Click under penalty of explosion.
# There is no I in team, but there is a ME.
# Dancing is like a shower: one wrong turn and you're in hot water.
# Go now, or forever hold your pee.
# A theater without beer is just a museum.
# If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen!
# i guess i make a better door than a window even though I am a pain.
# No matter how I drop an egg it always seems to to land on someone's head.
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  #2  
Old 04-13-2005, 11:39 PM
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Good post Rebel Yell.......that's some funny schtuff.........my favorite is here near the end with the rail gun one.......now that's humor.........lol......
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  #3  
Old 04-13-2005, 11:44 PM
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some of those were great lol
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  #4  
Old 04-14-2005, 06:00 AM
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thats some funny shit!!
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  #5  
Old 04-14-2005, 09:05 AM
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Lol....
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  #6  
Old 04-14-2005, 10:54 AM
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great post, very funny
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  #7  
Old 04-14-2005, 01:58 PM
chryslyn chryslyn Is Off Line
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hahaha
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  #8  
Old 04-14-2005, 03:48 PM
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Lmao

LD
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